Book Review: Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts
If you’ve ever had a thought pop into your mind that felt disturbing, out of character, or even shameful—you're not alone. These are what therapists call “intrusive thoughts,” and while nearly everyone has them, for some people they become frequent, sticky, and emotionally overwhelming. That’s where the book Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts by Sally M. Winston and Martin N. Seif becomes an invaluable guide.
What Are Intrusive Thoughts?
Intrusive thoughts are unwanted mental images or ideas that seem to come out of nowhere. They can be violent, sexual, blasphemous, or simply bizarre—and they can leave people feeling frightened, ashamed, or uncertain about themselves. These thoughts don’t reflect your character or your desires. But when you’re stuck in a cycle of trying to get rid of them, understand them, or make sure they “never come back,” the distress tends to grow.
That’s the cruel paradox this book helps break open: the more you try not to have a thought, the more persistent and powerful it becomes.
What This Book Does So Well
What makes Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts so effective is how clearly it separates what intrusive thoughts are not:
They are not dangerous.
They are not predictive.
They are not a sign that something is wrong with you.
Instead, the book teaches that intrusive thoughts are a common feature of a healthy, functioning brain—but when paired with a “sticky mind,” they can spiral into anxiety and compulsion. The authors, both experienced clinicians in the world of anxiety and OCD treatment, offer a research-based, deeply compassionate approach to getting unstuck.
Key Tools From the Book
Rather than engaging with or analyzing intrusive thoughts, Winston and Seif encourage a radically different approach:
Recognize the thought as intrusive. Label it instead of wrestling with it.
Shift from reaction to redirection. You don’t need to respond, correct, or reassure. You can notice the thought and refocus elsewhere.
Practice non-engagement. This isn’t suppression—it’s choosing not to argue with the thought or search for certainty.
The book walks readers through a step-by-step process rooted in mindfulness and acceptance-based approaches, particularly useful for clients with anxiety, OCD, and related conditions. There’s no demand to “be okay” with the thoughts, but rather a freedom that comes from not taking the bait.
Who This Book Helps
This book is a lifeline for:
People experiencing obsessive thought patterns, especially with disturbing or taboo content
Individuals in OCD treatment, particularly those doing Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)
Anyone who has felt afraid of their own mind or overwhelmed by the shame of their thoughts
It’s especially helpful for those who may have been told to “just think positive” or who feel exhausted by constant mental checking, reassurance-seeking, or trying to get certainty. If you're a parent, spiritual person, or someone in a helping profession, intrusive thoughts can feel especially terrifying—this book reminds you that you're not broken.
What Makes This Book Different
There are many books on anxiety and OCD, but Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts stands out because of its clear, non-shaming language. It uses examples that normalize without minimizing. Readers are never pathologized, but gently invited to step into a different relationship with their thoughts.
Rather than focusing on “why” a thought shows up, the authors keep us centered on “how” to respond. That shift can make all the difference.
A Note to Clients
If you’ve been afraid to say out loud what you’re thinking—because it feels too awful or too strange—please know this: intrusive thoughts lose their power when they are met with compassion and skill, not silence. Therapy can be a safe place to explore how your mind works, and how you can relate to your thoughts without fear or avoidance.
You don’t have to fix your mind. But you can learn to relate to it differently.
Ready for Support?
If this post resonates with you, our therapists are here to help. Whether you're working through intrusive thoughts, OCD, or anxiety that feels like it’s taking over your mind, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Therapy can offer tools, encouragement, and relief.
Reach out today to schedule with a therapist who understands and can help you find peace with your mind.