Gottman Method
Resources for Couples
Tools for Connection, Communication, & Repair
The Gottman Method offers practical, research-based tools to help couples build lasting connection, manage conflict, and deepen trust. Whether you’re just learning about the method or are working with a Gottman-trained therapist, this page will introduce key concepts and guide you toward helpful next steps.
Understanding the Gottman Method
Based on over four decades of research with thousands of couples, the Gottman Method focuses on what makes relationships work—and what helps them last. At the heart of the model is the Sound Relationship House, a visual framework that helps couples understand the building blocks of a healthy, connected partnership.
Our team uses Gottman tools to support couples through premarital work, high-conflict dynamics, infidelity repair, and long-term relational growth.
The Four Horsemen and Their Antidotes
Criticism. Defensiveness. Contempt. Stonewalling.
These are known as the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse—predictors of relational breakdown when left unaddressed. But there’s good news: each of these destructive habits has a practical antidote that can be learned and practiced.
Learn more in our Four Horsemen blog series:
Criticism
When complaints turn into personal attacks, connection breaks down. This post explores the first of the Four Horsemen—and how to start conversations gently.
Read the full post →
Defensiveness
When we feel misunderstood or attacked, defensiveness kicks in—but it often makes things worse. This post explores how to take responsibility without shame.
Read the full post →
Contempt
Contempt is the most damaging of the Four Horsemen—it erodes respect and fuels disconnection. This post offers tools to build appreciation and speak from within.
Read the full post →
Stonewalling
When emotions run high, shutting down can feel like the only safe option—
but it creates emotional distance.
Learn how to self-soothe and stay engaged.
Read the full post →
Love Maps and Connection Rituals
Every strong relationship is built on emotional intimacy—knowing your partner’s inner world, and letting them know yours. That’s where Love Maps come in.
Love Maps are a tool for increasing emotional attunement. Couples can also build connection through rituals of connection, such as daily check-ins, stress-reducing conversations, and weekly state-of-the-union talks.
Try these Gottman-style prompts in our Love Maps for Couples blog
Explore weekly connection ideas in Creating Rituals of Connection
Gottman Assessments
For couples who want deeper insight into their relational patterns and strengths, we offer the Gottman Relationship CheckUp—a research-based assessment tool that identifies key areas of connection, conflict, and emotional health.
In addition, Teresa and Tal are authorized providers of the Gottman Love Lab, a gold-standard assessment that offers in-depth analysis of a couple’s interaction patterns through video, biofeedback, and observational data.
Whether you’re preparing for therapy, facing a crisis point, or simply wanting to strengthen your relationship, these tools provide clarity and direction from the very beginning.
Learn more about the Relationship CheckUp and other assessments →
Already working through your assessment?
Visit Gottman Connect to complete your questionnaires or rate your videos
Creating Weekly Connection: State of the Union Meetings
The Gottmans recommend a weekly “State of the Union” meeting as a way for couples to stay emotionally connected, address issues gently, and build a culture of appreciation and repair. Whether you’re parenting together, newly married, or recovering from conflict, these check-ins create structure for ongoing connection.
Explore our blog series to learn how to make this ritual your own:
The State of Our Union: A Weekly Conversation to Strengthen Your Relationship
An introduction to the Gottman framework and how to get started with your own weekly check-in.Cultivating Connection: Embracing Weekly State of Our Union Meetings
Tips for navigating emotional topics, building rituals of connection, and creating a safe space for conversation.Strengthening Connections: The Gottman State of Our Family Union Meeting for Parents and Teens
A creative adaptation of the tool for families with teens—because connection doesn’t stop with the couple.
Who This Is For
You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from Gottman tools. These resources are for couples who are:
In therapy (or considering it)
Recovering from conflict, betrayal, or disconnection
Seeking stronger emotional, sexual, or relational intimacy
Wanting practical strategies to use right away
Ready for Tools You Can Use?
Access Our Gottman Exercises (Password Required)
If you're currently working with a Gottman therapist at Insights Counseling Center, we’ve created a secure space for you to access Gottman exercises and worksheets.
[Click here to access our password-protected Gottman Tools →]
Don’t have a password? Ask your therapist and we’ll get you set up.
Looking for Therapy?
At Insights Counseling Center, the Gottman Method is more than just a tool—it’s one of our primary therapeutic frameworks. Our couples therapists use this approach to help partners build stronger foundations, navigate conflict, and reconnect with intention and skill.
Teresa Prince is a Certified Gottman Therapist (CGT), the highest credential offered by The Gottman Institute. Certification requires rigorous consultation, multiple case reviews, and the successful submission of four session videos that demonstrate fidelity to the Gottman protocol. Therapists are given only three attempts to pass. Those who don’t meet the standard are not eligible to reapply.
We don’t take that lightly. The Gottman Institute sets a high bar—and so do we.
Tal Prince is in the final stages of certification, and all of our Gottman-trained therapists regularly consult with Tal and Teresa to ensure our work remains true to the model. Whether you’re preparing for marriage, navigating a crisis, or simply ready to grow, we’d be honored to walk with you.
Samantha Adams is trained through Level 2 in the Gottman Method and brings her expertise as a marriage and family therapist into the couples therapy room. Her work blends structure, empathy, and practical tools to help couples grow.
Whether you're preparing for marriage, navigating a crisis, or simply ready to grow, we’d be honored to walk with you.
Learn more about Gottman-Based Couples Therapy
Start With These Blog Posts
What to Expect in the First Sessions of Gottman Therapy
Wondering what the beginning of couples therapy will look like? This post walks you through the unique structure of the Gottman Method—from assessments to goal setting—so you know what to expect and how it helps.
Read the full post →
Why Understanding Precedes Persuasion in Relationship Problem-Solving
Before you can influence your partner, you have to understand them. This core Gottman principle offers a powerful shift in how couples approach conflict and deepen mutual respect.
Read the full post →
The Courage to Demand More from Your Marriage: Embracing Unresolvable Conflicts
Some problems don’t get solved—they get managed with love. This post explores Gottman’s research on perpetual problems and how to keep them from eroding connection.
Read the full post →
Bringing Baby Home: Strengthening Your Relationship as You Grow Your Family
Big transitions test small cracks. Based on the Gottman Bringing Baby Home program, this post explores how couples can stay close and connected during early parenthood.
Read the full post →
Nurturing Connection: The Power of Slowing Down & Adding Stabilizing Rituals
Connection thrives on intention. Learn how slowing your pace and building small rituals of connection can strengthen your bond and create emotional safety.
Read the full post →
Browse most recent Gottman posts →
type in Gottman to see a list of all related blog posts →
Recommended Gottman Books for Couples
These books reflect the heart of the Gottman Method—practical, research-based, and designed to help couples grow closer, manage conflict, and deepen trust.
Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection
-John & Julie Gottman
This powerful new release focuses on conflict—not just how to avoid it, but how to move through it with purpose. Drawing from decades of research, the Gottmans show how successful couples fight differently: with care, curiosity, and a shared commitment to repair.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
-John Gottman
This bestselling book offers a clear, research-based roadmap for building a stronger, more resilient relationship. It’s practical, easy to understand, and packed with exercises that help couples improve communication, connection, and trust.
What Makes Love Last?
- John Gottman & Nan Silver
This insightful book explores the science of trust, betrayal, and commitment in relationships. It helps couples understand what erodes trust, how to rebuild it, and what creates lasting emotional bonds. A powerful read for those healing from relational wounds or seeking deeper security in love.
View on Amazon →
Why Marriages Succeed or Fail
- John Gottman
One of Gottman’s earlier works, this book breaks down the behaviors and emotional dynamics that predict relationship success—or separation. Grounded in decades of research, it offers a practical look at what strengthens or undermines long-term commitment.
View on Amazon →
The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples
- John Gottman
This deep dive into emotional attunement explores what trust really means—and how couples can create it through emotional responsiveness, conflict repair, and shared meaning. Ideal for those wanting to understand the science behind secure relationships.
View on Amazon →
Parenting & Partnership: Gottman Books for Growing Families
Relationships change when a child enters the picture—but that doesn’t mean they have to suffer. These books offer research-backed tools to help you and your partner stay connected, communicate well, and raise emotionally healthy kids—together.
Explore our approach to Family Therapy →
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child
- John Gottman
This book adapts core Gottman principles for parenting, offering practical tools to help children recognize and regulate emotions. It’s a great companion for couples looking to strengthen not just their relationship—but their parenting partnership as well.
View on Amazon →
And Baby Makes Three
- John Gottman & Julie Schwartz Gottman
This book helps couples navigate the transition to parenthood without losing connection. With guidance on intimacy, conflict, and emotional support, it’s a vital resource for preserving (and rekindling) your relationship while raising a family.
View on Amazon →
Strong Relationships Aren’t Born—They’re Built, One Turn Toward at a Time
We walk with couples who are navigating conflict, healing from betrayal, or simply longing to feel close again. The Gottman Method offers a clear, research-based path forward—one grounded in trust, connection, and lasting change. Whether you're picking up the pieces after a rupture or looking to strengthen what’s already good, you’re not too far gone—and you’re not too late.